What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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boys

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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