A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

A piece of shit gets flushed down the toilet. The end.

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

Robin get in the Batmobile.

What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

How many babies can you breast feed? 2

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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