What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

hey

Q:What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A: A pilot you racist jerk...

What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

there was a black man his head looked like a peanut

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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