- Anti Joke

Netflix and chill

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

Black people are the scum of the earth

Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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