A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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Why was the baby crying? Because she had a frog nailed to her face.

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A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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sky's sty

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

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Every human being has some kind of penis <3

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Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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