Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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This is not a joke

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

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Stop Spam Read Books

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

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What stops a train? A missile

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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:O <===============3 :===========3 :======3 :===3 :3 It all makes sense now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops