Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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Three men walked into a bar. Despite the fact that the bar was not an oblong piece of solid material as many would assume, the men entered through the tavern door simultaneously and found it most uncomfortable and awkward to be squished up against each other for several moments.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Every human being has some kind of penis <3

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sky's sty

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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Why was the baby crying? Because she had a frog nailed to her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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