Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Womens rights

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Got milk? No.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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187

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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