how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the black man fall off the bicycle? He was shot at close range by one of a gang of young white males. This horrific violence was most likely fueled by racial prejudice. Our thoughts go out to the young man's family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

a

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

my bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats forever alone me

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops