What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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whats forever alone me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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