What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Oh

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops