Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

A. Hey.. B. Hi

A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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