Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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Got milk? No.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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