Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Arron Glass

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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