Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

thumb_up thumb_down -162

What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

???????????? WTF?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -29

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

thumb_up thumb_down -87

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

thumb_up thumb_down -107

smug face >:}

thumb_up thumb_down -185

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +168

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +40

how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops