What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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SNAPPLE!

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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