A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +24

i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

187

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops