One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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Three men walked into a bar. Despite the fact that the bar was not an oblong piece of solid material as many would assume, the men entered through the tavern door simultaneously and found it most uncomfortable and awkward to be squished up against each other for several moments.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

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Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

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why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops