What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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Whats the difference between Justin bieber and a dick... The dick

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

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Laugh

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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