One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

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Yo mama is so fat she died

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

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Did you hear about the guy who did a backflip off the cliff? He died

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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