What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

thumb_up thumb_down +12

breasts

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"Knock Knock" "Come in"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops