oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops