(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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balls

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69

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a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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