what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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What did Shaq do when he first met Rondo? Play Basketball

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Q what's worse than Tori's singing A absolutely nothing !

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

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a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

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Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops