porn-hub

thumb_up thumb_down -11

amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your social life.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Theres an app for the iPhone.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops