What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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