Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

69

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops