What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops