Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber get married.... Friends and family attend the wedding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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