Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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spell backwards: taco cat

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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