What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

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How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

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What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

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What do you get when you cross a train track and a bumpy feild, Further along on your GPS map.

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What's green and has wheels? A refrigerator, I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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