A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The Moon Landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the fat kid fall of his bike? The skinny kid pushed him off!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops