What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

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david weres the slug gone

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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