why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

What did david give back? Nothing.

How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

You might be a redneck. Sorry.

What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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