what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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I am dyslexic

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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Q:What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A: A pilot you racist jerk...

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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4

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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A: What happened to the snake? B: It died

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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