How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

Why dont black people go on cruise ships Theyre not falling for that one again

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

Knock knock Who's there? Micheal Jordan. Micheal Jordan who? Your an idiot

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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