One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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Are you a tree

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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black people are white when i use night gogles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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why is georgia shit at making jokes i dont know

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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What's more annoying than reading a joke you can't understand? ?????

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Knock, Knock ...

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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A black guy walks into a kkk meeting.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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