Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

emma: mat has a quick reaction time

I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

women's rights, lol

That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

What's half of 8? o

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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