Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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MAKE

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What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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This joke is the worst joke ever.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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