What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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tims sty:)

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

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Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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Mahmy

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yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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