A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

emma: mat has a quick reaction time

roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

Yo Mama just died.

Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

Hey, austin, what are you doing?

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

Getting up for a black person on a buss

What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

women's rights, lol

so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

What's half of 8? o

That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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