Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

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If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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Tunechi

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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