A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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doctor , doctor , i feel depressed , we will start you on a course of anti-depressents , vitimins , and daily exercise, make a appointment for next week , and i will referrer you to a phycatrist

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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