What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops