A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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a

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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