hi, im sober.

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

Sarah Palin

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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