You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

im gay because im gay

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

That other group is a *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** From Jackson Edwards

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

Women's rights.

Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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