what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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im gay because im gay

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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Women's rights.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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187

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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