What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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black people are white when i use night gogles

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

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Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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