The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Nothing... (The game.)

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Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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I was watching this one episode of mighty morphin' power rangers ......and i realized i got trapped in the 90's.... THANK YOU BOOTLEG TIME MACHINE FROM .....EBAY......it's always ebay.....

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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caoimhin you satan of CHRIST IM A DICIPLE OF CHRIST UNLIKE YOU

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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