Hey, Have you Seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he!

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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