Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

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cancer

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why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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Question: How did the little girl die Answer: cancer and AIDS

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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Teacher: "What is the outside layer on a tree?" Dog: "Bark" Teacher: "How would you describe the desert surface?" Dog: "Rough" Teacher: "Would you say that Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent man?" Dog: "Yarp"

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops