Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

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What's two plus two? Window

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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What is worse than 3 lesbians in a telephone booth? 6 squirrels donkey punching your urethra.

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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stuarts mum

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops